My Celebrity Stalkers
On Saturday, I was one of two customers in a tiny local deli until Nick Cave walked in, dressed head-to-toe in black and accompanied by his children in white judo outfits. I toyed with the idea of...
View ArticleColumnist Sneers At Drunken Fool And Demonstrates His Own Ignorance
It’s been global find-and-replace time again at the nationals over the past couple of days as the columnists check the “Fallen_Hero.dot” Word template out of the their publications’ databases in...
View ArticleClarification
Given the trouble a certain blogger found himself in for announcing Margaret Thatcher’s death prematurely, I should point out that I wrote my previous post about her before the ex-PM’s hospitalization...
View ArticleFuture News: Headlines Of 2108
NASA ASTRONAUTS ARRIVE ON CENTAURI IV AND ENCOUNTER POPULATION OF HUMANOIDS SO PRIMITIVE THAT THEY STILL HAVE FACEBOOK ACCOUNTS. PANEL OF HISTORIANS VOTES ON MOST HATED FIGURES OF 21ST CENTURY. SADDAM...
View ArticleBear With A Big Head
KNUT the polar bear has turned from a cuddly cub into a publicity-addicted psycho, one of his keepers has claimed. Markus Roebke said Berlin Zoo’s celebrity animal was obsessed with the limelight and...
View ArticleFalling Down
There is an upside to my not being a drop-dead gorgeous superstar: whenever I’m working with a bunch of stubbly musicians and my singing’s not up to scratch, they tell me, bluntly. I got my first paid...
View ArticleSlapped
The top of the BBC News page about a possible new cure for baldness carries an image of an anonymous baldie: The bottom of the same page has images of Nick Robinson and Terry Wogan: Yesterday, as I was...
View ArticleBag Lady Collects Spare Change
It’s not just in the real world that inflation is a problem for those responsible for monetary policy. Right now, the virtual world of World of Warcraft needs to deal with an acute growth in money...
View ArticleTrouble At T’ Degree Mill
Another “shocking state of our universities today” story has appeared on the BBC news Website. A report from the Quality Assurance Agency says the degree classification system is broken. I smiled when...
View ArticleSatire Again Trumped By Reality
I had drafted a PooterGeek post of semi-exaggerated biographies of the actual candidates for the upcoming Haltemprice and Magnercarter by-election, but it all seems so feeble now that David Icke is in...
View ArticleRaffish
Look at Anne Hathaway’s ex-boyfriend Raffaelo Follieri’s hairdo and blue-jeans-and-blazer combo and tell me you’re surprised he is being questioned about an alleged large-scale credit card fraud. I bet...
View ArticleThe Trials Of Being A Covers Band
Masters of the live hip-hop mash-up, The Roots, displayed their usual relaxed attitude when asked to comment on events at their first headlining show at Glastonbury this week. Early on in their...
View ArticleLewis Cannoned
From The Daily Telegraph: Less than 24 hours after both men responded to sleaze allegations against Mr Lewis by insisting he had done nothing to compromise his role as a magistrate, it emerged that...
View ArticleJob Creation Scheme
Surely Margaret Thatcher doesn’t want a state funeral? I mean, that would require the government to pay people to dig a hole and fill it up again.
View ArticleDisturbing Search Of The Moment
I’m kind of afraid to ask why people have been arriving at PooterGeek over the past couple of days as a result of googling for “John Kettley” and “hedgehog”. I realise my publishing this post will now...
View ArticleChuck Off
Writing on his blog today, Damian Counsell, who, if he hadn’t been baptised a Catholic, would be 37 234 933rd in line to the thrones of the Commonwealth realms, warned of the dangers to the planet of...
View ArticleTalking Of Bathos…
The front page of the BBC News Website is currently decorated by the headline: JUDE LAW CALLS FOR WORLD CEASEFIRE
View ArticleAural Sachs
Andrew Sachs has just been on BBC Radio 4, walking around London Zoo with Tim Samuels and reminiscing about how he used to sneak in there during World War II. Sachs was born to a Jewish family in...
View ArticleTop Brand
Further to my last post about this, Russell Brand makes a proper apology to camera here. I can think of several politicians (amongst others) who could learn from it. He doesn’t mess about with words...
View ArticleThose Beige Headlines In Full
TIGER WOODS WINS 2008 US OPEN DESPITE KNEE INJURY CAUSED BY ILLEGAL KARATE ATTACK FROM EVIL MAFIA GOLFER ROCCO MEDIATE. OBTAINS CRUCIAL PAR SCORE ON SUDDEN-DEATH HOLE USING “CRANE KICK” BEFORE...
View ArticleSkinning The Dude
Jeff Bridges really did have all of his hair shaved off to appear in Iron Man. You can see photos of the process in this album on his Website [slow-downloading images; no thumbnails]. Imagine being...
View ArticleNoblesse blancmange
For some lucky and rich people who describe themselves as Left-wing, one of the worst things about free markets is that they have given the oiks the freedom to enjoy the pleasures that were previously...
View ArticleTough Audience
On being shown Michael Jackson moonwalking to Billie Jean, a friend’s seven-year-old son shrugged his shoulders and commented, unimpressed: “Ahh… He’s got wheels in his shoes.” [Anecdote and title...
View ArticleEvans, Dear Boy, Evans
Via Paulie’s “Shared Items” feed at Never Trust a Hippy, I read on the Democratic Society Blog one of the best “Did Magna Carta die in vain?” comments ever [see foot of the post I link to] and, on Tory...
View ArticleModern Masters
Further to my rant about clueless DJs replacing proper producers, here are a couple of funny little animations about the horrors of being a mastering engineer to today’s “talent”: Mastering: The Movie...
View ArticleBigger Than The Beatles
Lord Macca of Loch Kodak on his appearance on The X-Factor: [Sir Paul McCartney] said he got some great reaction from people about his performance on the X Factor. “We got great feedback on the streets...
View ArticleMoral Philosophers Of Our Time
Charles Alexander: The former partner of killer gunman Raoul Moat was yesterday blamed for the death of an innocent man and the maiming of a police officer. The deranged bodybuilder’s uncle Charles...
View ArticleBieber-eautiful
16-year-old Justin Bieber is the pop new sensation with pre-teens. [High Court Judge] I have yet to have the pleasure of hearing one of his musical performances [/High Court Judge], but I have heard...
View ArticleA Femi-narcissist reader
Do read my previous post first! And I should credit “Ban This Filth!” for the caption to the Laurie Penny tweet. In addition to the Dan Hodges blogpost that I linked to at the end of that one, here are...
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